finally

you had me.
but you let me go.
you chose to let me go.

for a moment there i just kept asking myself:
what did i do wrong?
was i not enough?
was i not good enough?
what else did i have to give?
what else did i have to give up?
...just to make you happier.
...just to make you stay.
...just to make you love me enough.

but there was no answer.
nothing.

but then it was there.
...all this time...
the answer that i have avoided for so long.
nothing.
there was not enough love from your end.
there was nothing else to make you stay.
there was no other way i could make you happy.
there was nothing else i could do.
there was nothing wrong with me.
there was simply nothing.
because i have done everything.
i have given everything.

and despite these, you still left.
you were still confused.
you still doubted.

i was never good enough for you.
and the fact that you chose to let me go, proves one thing:
i will never be good enough for you.

but that's just it.
i will never be good enough for you.
...for you.
but i am good enough.
i am better.
and i am better off on my own.

you had your chance.
i even handed it to you so many times.
but you just declined.
each and every time.

so i'm taking everything back.
myself.
my sanity.
my heart -- every single shattered peice of it.
at least they are all mine.
even if you will never be.
at least i still have something left for myself.
something that really belongs to me.