A Certainty.

"In a universe of ambiguity, this kind of certainty comes only once, no matter how many lifetimes you live."

- Robert James Waller

A dozen years ago I dreamed of a knight saving me from a towering dungeon of an old dark castle. He wakes me up with a gentle kiss before sweeping me off my feet in his black stallion across mountains and along deep rivers and lakes to a faraway land with sweet promises of living happily ever after.

Half a dozen years later, I saw a football quarterback who fits perfectly on a paperback novel of a silly highschool girl falling for her childhood friend. But as the clock ticked away, I was gently awakened by my Dad’s butterfly kisses. I clicked my heels and got myself not just one glass slipper but over a dozen other fabulous pairs of shoes. I got all these and more without a prince to call my own but another palace, another home away from home.

I have all the pearls, diamonds and gold that my Mom has adorned me with. But apart from all these trinkets, it is the silver that I have graced into that I will always treasure. It is the year when the princess bid good night, the lady hummed a prayer, and the woman finally came to be.

As I gaze out on my window, beyond the city streets and the skyscrapers, I look back at the boys who have amazed me by the young men in them who have captured me. To each I have handed a piece of a girl’s heart and a sip of a lady’s tears. Nothing more, nothing less. It was only love that I have learned to let go but not a single strand of my dreams.

And right before my eyes he still stands along my unfounded dreams. He has never left my mind nor my sight. He walks along the same streets and sees the same sky. He feels the same breeze and breathes the same air as I. But I do not know yet the contours of his face nor the callous of his hands. Neither do I know his built nor the length of his lashes. Such details are now beyond me… Or maybe, I have already gone beyond them. It is no longer the mere type of man that he is that I care about, but that of what defines him.

He is a man who has tasted the fruits of life and humbly speaks of the bitter from the sweet. He has heard a generous lot of the bittersweet symphony of love and sincerely smiles at all his losses. He has lived long enough and learned more than enough to encapsulate a passion for looking forward to another day of challenges. He knows the underlying victories reaped from the simplicity of putting a foot ahead of the other to make a step that leads to a mile long of cherished precious moments along the way.

He is a man who knows the true worth of Time and understands the essence of waiting. He is one who, after taking several bold steps forward, dares to take another step back if only to appreciate the proper moments that are yet and about to unfold. He is all these and yet he accepts that he is only but a man.

As I am but a young woman. The princess sleeps as the lady holds on to prayers. I have saved myself from grueling pains, reached peaks of mountains, stayed afloat the deepest waters, and found myself a reverie. I was. I am. I have become.

With one last gaze outside my widow, I saw the raindrops kiss the silent pavements. Tonight is meant for another peaceful slumber . And tomorrow... tomorrow will surely come… along with him and my unfounded dreams.